With one home game left, we examine the nine characters that make Penn State tailgates unforgettable

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Can you believe the college football regular season is nearing an end already? Penn State began the season with six-straight games in Pennsylvania — with five at Beaver Stadium — and will return home once more after Halloween to face a rising Michigan team.

So in honor of our last chance to take part in “The Greatest Show in College Football” this season, we bring you nine characters you’re sure to meet in Happy Valley on game days!

The Guy Who Bleeds Blue and White

If you cut this guy open, he may actually bleed Penn State’s colors. No, seriously. He’s got 20/20 vision but he wears thick-lensed glasses anyway. His trousers fit perfectly, but he still rolls them up to show off his white socks like a certain iconic coach. He hasn’t missed a game since he was in diapers. He’s leaving the tailgate early to line up at Gate A and one of the first in the stadium.

The Tailgate Game Hall of Famer

This fan is obviously an expert with a bean bag, hammer and Frisbee. Cornhole, Stump, Kan Jam – the game doesn’t matter, this guy’s winning. From your chair, you watch the Great One intently as he sinks his eighth straight cup in beer pong and secretly wish you were that good.

The Disinterested Girlfriend

Ironically, Disinterested Girlfriend is usually dating The Guy Who Bleeds Blue and White. She’s trying to have a good time, but it’s raining, or it’s too hot.  She doesn’t understand football and would rather die than use a port-a-john.

Ultimate Tailgate Mom

She’s still wearing an apron and laboring over the George Foreman, even after everyone’s eaten twice. She’ll push an eighth pickled egg down your throat, but make no mistake, you. will. not. be. hungry. All day. Possibly tomorrow. And you’ll wake up with her recipe for chili dog sauce in your pocket the next day.

The Super Drunk

The game kicks off at 8 p.m. but this tailgate regular is hammered by noon. Sure, he’s swaying and slurring his words, he’s otherwise pretty peaceful as he stumbles around, looking for the beer bong. He’ll disappear for an hour or two, to God knows where – but he’ll be back, always with beer in hand, and always, somehow, ready for another.

The Uncle Who Owns the RV

If the party bus you’re partying at is slicker than a Penn State sidewalk in January, you’re probably at someone’s uncle’s tailgate. He’s an investment banker or lotto winner, retired, Penn State grad who is dying to tell you about the time he trick or treated at JoePa’s house, or did the Mifflin Streak with half the cheerleading squad. He might flirt with your girlfriend, but he’s harmless and the beer is free.

The Camping Chair Coach

It’s nearly time to head into the stadium for a Week 5 game and this guy is still fuming about a draw play Penn State offensive coordinator called back in the season-opener on third and short. Pull up a chair and make your girlfriend sit next to him.

The Football Bunnies

Cute. Giggly. Outfitted in #14 jerseys and short shorts. Wait, there are other players on the team besides Christian Hackenberg? Boxed wine may or may not be part of their tailgating experience.

The Ambassador

This character most likely to “reach across the aisle” and invite an opposing fan in for some homemade grilled stickies, while educating them in Penn State lore and the ways of the Nittany Lion.

Sound like anyone you know? Did we miss a key player? This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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